Throwing yourself at it...

I think one of the biggest things I learned from last years training for mixed climbing was understanding how and what it looked like in being totally true to yourself.

Last training/mixed season my coach had assigned several exercises and goals set up for me to get after, in turn strengthening my climbing for competition and route climbing. The exercises weren't impossible nor unreasonable. They were pretty specific and to the point. Judging by his lengthy list of accomplishments in competition/route climbing, he obviously knew what he was talking about. When i received his training outline...I was psyched. I was motivated and excited to go after this training regime with everything I had–to be a better climber.

When I first started working with my coach we went through a lot of personal stuff, just so that he was up to speed with my background/history. One of the main things we talked about, focusing on my past, was that I always did things half assed. I loved the idea of doing and being many things but never gave the effort to follow through with most. Typically, it was due to being flat out lazy. (It's a long story to how that was generated–the lazy mentality, but that's for another post).

As I packed up my gear, getting ready to drive back home I was filled with a huge sense of disappointment. The route I wanted so badly to send before seasons end had defeated me. It was 2 moves away from being bagged and I blew it. But here's the thing...I didn't blow it because i fell two moves from sending...I blew it because I didn't "fully" listen to my coach. He specifically stated what needed to get done in order to be prepared for such a route and I had only attacked these "specifics" with about 60% effort. Now, that being said, I had trained a tonne...but a tonne wasn't enough...it was two tonnes that would have got the job done. That "half assed" mentality had come back to haunt me. I let it slip in once again. I loved the idea of sending that route, doing well at competitions...bla bla bla. But loving the idea of something vs. going after the idea are two completely different things.

I've had a lot of time to think about how last year's mixed season went. I've gone over everything about my training habits, my commitment and efforts, all of it. Last year, sure, i was psyched...and motivated. But there was something missing, something that was holding me back. Perhaps focus, confidence? But something has changed. Something big. About a month and a half ago my coach sent me my new training outline. It's full on, with lots to get done. When i first glanced over the outline there were shivers running down my back. That feeling, the shivers, they weren't from fear but excitement. I couldn't wait to get at the first exercise and give it my all.

I came in tonight from training, exhausted. My arms were pumped, i had a headache, and i was super beat. But here's the cool part–all this complaining is a result of giving a 100% effort in my training session. Every time i felt like stopping/quitting. Every time i felt like putting my tools away and headin' inside...I wouldn't...I'd use the feelings of giving up and transform them into another lap. I've made the decision to shut up and keep going with every aspect of my training. No more of this half assed bull shit. Either I'm on or I'm off. No in between. Something has changed inside of me. I've learned from my mistakes. This training season followed by the actual mixed season...it's going to be 100% all the way through plus the additional 40% that I slacked off with during last year's season.

I think in life when you want something, if you want it bad enough...first you need to dig deep and figure out how bad you really want it. After that, if you still want it...then go after it, with everything you got. There is no half way...there's only all the way. And even if you don't succeed in pursuit of your goal, at least you can look yourself in the mirror and grin, knowing you threw 100% of yourself at it.

Training season is on, and i'm totally psyched!