It's only been in the last several years that I've actually started to "climb". Previous to the last couple, climbing was just another way to get outside and have an adventurous experience. But now, now it's different. When I climb, i feel alive. The movement, the process, the success, the failure, all of it is like an inception into a place where everything feels right.
In recent years my life has become busy. Whether with climbing, family, my business, all these aspects lead to total chaos...on a daily basis. I tend to put too much on my plate, way too much infact, that it's borderline unhealthy. But i deal with it. My wife helps me through it, and the laughter of my children motivates me to push on. Sometimes though, the chaos becomes a little too much to handle smoothly. Sometimes I find myself freaking out and on edge with a "panicky" breath pattern.
A couple of weeks ago I had "one of those days". Too many things piled up way too fast and "shit" basically hit the fan. Now, if you've ever seen "shit" hit the fan...it's never good. Well, this day was that in a nut shell. I didn't really know how to handle such a day as well as how to recover from it. So, I did the only thing i could think of...I went climbing.
The entire drive to the crag, all i could think of was how bad the day was. Even the walk from the van to the crag, still...my mind wasn't into it. But here's where things got kinda cool...the second i tied in and started climbing on the rock...everything changed. My mind instantly went from bad head space to a sense of peace. I somehow, instantly forgot about the bad day and had a wicked evening of climbing. I didn't even realize that I hadn't thought about the bad day for the entire night of climbing until i got back in the van and was half way home.
What's cool about this experience is the whole mental side of things. For the past year and a half Will Gadd has been coaching me with my climbing. Mostly though, his focus with me has been on mental toughness. It's been an intense, committed, battle that has forced me to dig deep within myself and face many issues that have held me back in various ways. Training mental toughness is not easy. It makes you face your weaknesses, not just in climbing, but in life too. But if you can push through it all, sifting through the "thick of it", out of such training the sky literally becomes the limit.
About two weeks ago I sent a long awaited project. This particular route took longer then many-the reason: it revealed my weaknesses. Near on every move was consistently against "my style", thus the struggle. After many attempts it was getting to the point where i thought I just wasn't capable of sending such a route. I began to think that i wasn't strong enough, good enough, that I lacked the necessary skills for such a climb. My mind was taking control over my actual climbing and I was losing confidence. I had even put quite a few training days in, focusing on my weaknesses, paying close attention to improvement with certain skills/movement. And yet, I was still falling off the route.
Lately, I've been holding onto a theory: that everything needs to go just right for you to send a route that pushes your limit. This theory set in hard with several of my attempts on a mixed climb that pushed my limits. I really felt that in order for me to send that route, everything needed to fall into place, perfectly. NOthing could go wrong, not even my breathing pattern. Two weeks ago I sent my project that i feared not do-able for me (not the mixed one, but a rock route). I sent this thing with authority. Every move, my body floated through it as if it weren't a big deal. My feet landed on every foot hold perfectly, my body position was bang on through the crux, and I finished the route with ease.
Up until two days ago I felt as though I sent this route because of my skill. I believed that I was being shut down because i lacked the power, thus i trained the weakness and prevailed. Up until two days ago I thought this route was sent based upon physical traits. This theory of mine, that everything needs to go right to send your hardest route, it's wrong.
This past saturday I had the rare opportunity to relax and do nothing (and by nothing i don't mean nothing, but for me, the closest thing to it). As i was sitting in a lawn chair down by the river, I opened a new book I had been given by Eric Horst. It's title, "Maximum Climbing". 10 pages into this sucker and my mindset had been changed, or more so confirmed i guess. All the training that Will had implemented, focusing on the mental training, suddenly so much of it became clear. In Eric's book, in the first chapter he stated something that made me understand how i sent my project. It wasn't because of my physical state...it was because I took my mental state and transformed it into a power house.
It doesn't take perfection to climb your hardest route, you just need to have fewer performance defects than in previous failed attempts. We often fail to use our minds in the most effective ways. Pondering failure, making excuses, such critical talk wields a powerful negative influence over our performance. It doesn't matter how strong or skilled you are, if you don't utilize the power of your brain, controlling the fear, constraining outside distractions, limiting negative self talk, you will continuously sell yourself short of greatness.
"Climbing your best, then, comes only by replacing outcome-oriented thinking with a focus on the process of climbing, an enjoyment of the dance, and a becoming one with the experience." Eric Horst
Achieving the next grade or sending the impossible is a battle fought more so in the mind than in the body. I didn't send my route because of my physical state. I sent the route because i changed my mental state. My willpower grew larger then my physical power. My brain-centred approach allowed for me to believe the route was attainable. Thus, I sent.
I'm beginning to truly understand that my mental state with climbing plays such an integral part in my performance. I'm also beginning to believe that my mental state is becoming a strength in my climbing. So whether I've had a bad day, or if I just fell off a project after many attempts, I know that through climbing, I have the ability to turn things around and overcome what sometimes seems as chaos, or the unthinkable for that matter.
If you haven't seen Eric's new book, "Maximum Climbing", get it. It will change and enhance whatever it is that you're going after.
Get some!
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